Speaking from the perspective of a bachelor, being single isn’t too bad. Sure, you get lonely sometimes, and you may not have someone to share your innermost secrets with but – yeah being single can suck! For those who have found their soul mate (cue the late-great Gerald LeVert’s song “Soul Mate” please), better yet their wife or husband, marriage, if approached equally from both sides, certainly should be the most wonderful thing, like ever… EVER! I wouldn’t know mind you, but I imagine if I were to find the right gal, were to “put a ring on it” (sings “Single Ladies”), a brother would have it M.A.D.E. – Scareface album from 2007. Sigh, “all this love talk”…. Oops, one of my own lyrics. LOL.
But enough chitter-chattering from moi about hopeless romanticism and emo-love – “ain’t nobody got time for that!” (any number of sources, be it the viral video, Childish Gambino, or otherwise). I’m not usually one to even give a celebrity split the time of day unless its one of Taylor Swift’s endless breakups that turns into an annoyingly-delicious country/pop song (“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”, “I Knew You Were Trouble.”, “Dear John”) or of course Justin Bieber. However, after having such a big year, I can’t leave my boy Robin Thicke out of the gossip – err news. The news that broke recently was that Robin Thicke and teenage sweetheart Paula Patton are separating following eight years of marriage and being linked together for what, two decades?
Well, we all know that relationships in “Hollywood” (regardless if that’s where they actually take place) are usually short-lived. But for a while, it seemed Thicke and Patton seemed to work. As of yet, there are no concrete details on the reasons for the break-up and honestly, and its really none of our business. That said, much has been said about Thicke’s ‘behavior’ and no that doesn’t completely lay blame nor completely neglect that god-awful, abysmal, and ill-fitting Beetlejuice suit that was violated by Miley Cyrus’ more horrific twerking at the MTV VMAs. JUST SAYING – It really didn’t help that Cyrus really “won’t stop” and “can’t stop” when she really, really NEEDS TO [BLEEP] STOP! Sigh! Apparently, Mr. Thicke seems to “get around”. Again, speculation and gossip are horrid things, but one has to wonder, did a potentially “Unfaithful” Robin Thicke drive Patton crazy, making her feel undervalued? Did you catch the Rihanna song reference?
Here’s a “slow motion” version of Miley’s infamous VMAs performance for your enjoyment… or torture.
Then again, one has to question the incredibly controversial “Blurred Lines” and its effect. Not only was the song raunchy regardless of what he and Pharrell intended, but the video was X-rated. Yeah men enjoyed it – why wouldn’t they? But ask most married men if their wives would be okay with them filming a music video with nude women? That would be grounds for break-up or divorce for many right there, I can assure you and I ain’t put a ring on no one’s finger! If the nude females didn’t do it, perhaps the reference to the size of the “crown jewels” would truly be the last straw… If you don’t catch my drift, well watch “Blurred Lines” again for yourself.
Sure, “Blurred Lines” was the biggest hit of Thicke’s career, trumping his more chivalrous “Lost Without U” from 2006 (The Evolution of Robin Thicke). “Lost Without U” could be argued to be the better song of the two because of messaging, but it only made it into the top twenty. “Blurred Lines” was the gift that just kept on giving, through theft charges, misogyny, and general bad taste. The voters at the Recording Academy knew they couldn’t even reward the juggernaut – it’s lack of substance, despite its addictiveness, was just in “bad taste”. No song references here, sorry!
Did “Blurred Lines” destroy the Thicke marriage? Likely not, but for as much success as Thicke had after a lengthy career in the period of one year (2013), there has been an equal amount of controversy. It was once said that “controversy sells”. While it does to an extent, when does controversy become too much? Same could be said with marriage. With whatever problem that arises, where is the breaking point? I mean, Keri Hilson said “Every women has a breaking point y’all…” (I think this was before she threw shade at Beyoncé). When does a spouse’s bad decisions reach past the point of repair and too damaging to patch up? Being the positive being I am, I hope that Thicke and Patton can one day work out their differences (Yep cue up “We Can Work It Out” by The Beatles) whatever they may be, but as of now, they are “Done.” – The Band Perry. Go ahead and give me kudos for my country music reference. Peace peeps!
BTW, in all seriousness, separation and divorce is no laughing matter. But I think that many truly perceptive pop culture fanatics could tell something just wasn’t right…