3OH!3, ‘Night Sports’ – By The Lyrics

One is hard pressed to find a duo that goes ‘stupider’ than 3OH!3. Yep, Nathaniel Motte and Sean Foreman have managed to make some of the most infectious, idiotically dumb music for years. You could say the frat bros have never grown out of their frat bro-dom. Regardless, what better way to examine their latest dumb album than lyrically? After all, there couldn’t be that much substance, could there

1) “I’m teething, ripping the pieces/your student thesis of all of the reasons that I’ve been squeezing/ sitting here breathing/summon the beast and 666/ then minus the threes and that’d be the region where we be freezing/ but we’re releasing all of the demons/when I’m inspired, I spit fire up higher like it’s open season” – “Fire In The Heavens”

Commentary: The best way to characterize this rap is simply WTF. Better yet, WTFF! That’s some kind of math 3OH!3 is throwing out there!

2) “Left field, call it / Babe Ruth, ball it / your boyfriend’s got a cauliflower dick and I’m an alcoholic” – “Hear Me Now”

Commentary: So it was pretty easy to follow with the baseball references, but then the “cauliflower” reference went a bit “below the belt.”

3) “Blow this b*tch, blow this b*tch straight to heaven” – “Hear Me Now”

Commentary: Normally, this would just be a reference to turnin’ up, but can you really put it past 3OH!3 to throw innuendo into the mix?

4) “How could I ever be mad at you? / Cause I’ve been doing that sh*t too” – “Mad At You”

Commentary: Basically, this girl has been cheating, yet so has Sean/Nat, hence why he “could never be mad at” her.

5) “I got OCD when it comes to that p*ssy / says she don’t wanna push me, yeah” – “Mad At You”

Commentary: This is a perfect example of 3OH!3 taking things TOO far. Was this lyric really necessary?

6) “Don’t gotta be no centerfold / for me to want to take you home / if your heart is beating / let me freak your body baby” – “Freak Your Mind”

Commentary: Basically, in typical, shallow dude fashion, 3OH!3 make it clear they aren’t picky about who they have sex with. In one way, it’s endearing since looks are unimportant. However, since this is 3OH!3, the correct way to interpret this is that they dudes just want a little “Sumthin’ Sumthin’.”

7) “Space man / high as outer space man / f*cking ridiculous / my favorite album, Space Jam” – “7-11”

Commentary: There. Are. Simply. No. Words. For. This. SPEECHLESS. Actually, there are some words: “I Believe I Can Fly.” 

8) “I got the conch, ain’t no Lord of the Flies sh*t / it’s more like you be catching flies on your eyelids / but I keep crashing in the rocks of the sirens / playing murder-f*ck-kill with death on a desert island.” – “7-11” 

Commentary: Hey, the Lord of the Flies reference is sort of cool. It’s dumb at the same time and random, but cool.

9) “We are the same old Boulder motherf*ckers / if our sh*t’s so bad, why’s your sister tryna f*ck us?” – “BASMF”

Commentary: 3OH!3 don’t take themselves seriously, and that’s part of what makes them so intriguing, even if their music is, um, dumb. Here, they acknowledge the stupidity of their music, but make a great point – they still have girls that are eager to “get with them” if you catch the drift.

10) “Every time I look at my dick, I’m like ‘Holy sh*t, that’s a big dick’ / and every time I look at your dick, I’m like ‘Holy sh*t, that’s a small dick’” – “My Dick” 

Commentary: Here’s the thing. The song “My Dick” shouldn’t be a highlight from Night Sports, but it is. It’s as stupid as anything the duo has released and it’s definitely NSFW. But, simply and stupidly speaking, the aforementioned quote is the same reference that many college-age and twenty-something males have used to insult each other, not to mention how many rappers have embraced “size matters.”

11) “This sh*t is Disney/ I’m the beast and she’s the booty” – “Inside Boy”

Commentary: While the title shouldn’t be a giveaway what this song is about, we’ve easily (or I have) gotten into the mindset of 3OH!3 musically. Before even hearing this or checking out the lyrics, I knew that “Inside Boy” was going to be about sex. Sure enough, it is, and this is just one example of the lame lines the duo embrace.

Okay, so we didn’t include lyrics from every song from Night Sports. That’s right, “Give Me Something To Remember,” “Claustrophobia” and “Hologram” got no lyrical love. Why? Lyrically, they’re less interesting or at least lack the risqué fun/absurdness of the aforementioned. Night Sports as a whole is one interesting album… understatement.

3OH!3 • Night Sports • Fueled By Ramen • Release Date: 5.13.16

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