Let’s face it – sometimes we all think with the wrong head. That’s the case with the songs on this risqué, “below-the-belt” playlist. Here’s some thought provoking songs from the nether [region]! DISCLAIMER: This one probably isn’t safe for work… This is the type of evergreen list you compose and ask yourself, “what the [bleep] was I thinking.”
1) Kevin Gates ft. Juicy J, “Thinking With My D**k” (Stranger Than Fiction, 2013)
“Got money, retarded / don’t want her if it don’t clap when she walking / not too pretty in the face, but she super thick / I’m just thinking with my d**k / my s**t dumb”
Hey, give Gates credit: he’s honest AF. This song is as filthy as you would expect, capped off by Juicy J’s ‘prodigious’ verse…said no one ever. “I’m a dog a** n***a, I’m not f**king with no fleas / if I saw that b***h again, I probably won’t even speak.” Wait for it, it gets worse: “Man that girl swallow nut like an elephant… like a dentist with a drill, I be digging in they mouth…” Yep, that’s definitely TMI!
2) Tyler, the Creator, “B***h Suck D**k” (Goblin, 2011)
“Got the bops in the house, socking b***hes in they mouth / see my neck iced the f**k out / at the f**king mall, 40 b***hes on my nutsack…”
Tyler, the Creator has never been one known for his subtlety. That is the case here on “B***h Suck D**k,” where he and his Odd Future buds show little respect to the opposite sex. Really, there’s not much to add that can’t be heard or read “as plain as day” within the lyrics.
3) 3OH!3, “My D**k” (Night Sports, 2016)
“Every time I look at my d**k, I’m like ‘Holy s**t, that’s a big d**k’”
If possible the frat bros of 3OH!3 have only grown dumber with age. Case in point – “My D**k.” First of all, who in the world thought it would be ‘stimulating’ to name a song after their junk? Secondly, does this subject matter really leave
the fly the door open for depth? Wait – that totally didn’t sound right… The dudes even compare size to Disney characters, which is shameful: “I hang low like the trunk of Dumbo / while your d**k gets small like Frodo.”
4) Rick Ross, “Dope D**k” (Black Market, 2015)
“Dope d**k, the b**ches love me for the dope d**k / dope d**k, I f**k her slow with the dope d**k”
Overall, “Dope Dick” is a flex fest for Rick Ross, who, unquestionably, isn’t hurting for money or swag. With swag in hip-hop comes any number of women, so naturally, after erecting himself as a God, naturally it only makes sense he uses his stature in the context of pleasure or something like that.
5) Mickey Avalon ft. Andre Legacy & Dirty Nasty, “My D**k” (Mickey Avalon, 2006)
“My d**k cost a late night fee / your d**k got the HIV…”
Oh boy. Mickey Avalon’s debut album was, um, something. Nothing was more eye-roll worthy than “My Dick,” where three people decide to trade bars about their respective members. Yep, makes for a great song alright…
6) Lil Kim, “Suck My D**k” (Notorious K.I.M., 2000)
“N***as love a hard b***h, one that can get up in a n***a’s a** / quicker than an enema, make a cat bleed then sprinkle it with vinegar…”
Yeah, this might just be the filthiest on the list – phew! Kim switches between the female perspective and actually being a dude, which is just, um…yeah… “Kim got him in a zone beating they [BLEEP] / even got some of these straight chicks rubbing their [BLEEP]” NEXT!
7) Peaches, “D**k in the Air” (Rub, 2015)
“Cracking your nuts pistachio / saved a handlebar pusstachio / curly on to, Ralph Macchio / when down got milk moustache yayo”
O…M…G… What can you really say? You know there’s no substance whatsoever when the lyrics inquire, “Whose j**z is this” or state, “Balls and d**k, two balls and one d**k.” Sheesh!
8) The Lonely Island ft. Justin Timberlake, “D**k In A Box” (Incredibad, 2009)
“To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress / it’s easy to do just follow these steps / one – cut a hole in a box / two – put your junk in that box / three – make her open the box / and that’s the way you do it”
Give The Lonely Island credit – at least when they reference ‘theirs’ they are being comical. “It’s my dick in a box / my dick in a box babe!”
9) Lil Wayne ft. Static Major, “Lollipop” (Tha Carter III, 2008)
“She wanna lick, lick, lick, lick me like a lollipop / shawty wanna lick me / so I let her lick the rapper…”
Lil Wayne has always had a sexually driven approach, so when “Lollipop” arrived back in 2008, it was no surprise. What was surprising? Such an explicit song was a no. 1 hit. Maybe radio assumed it was literally about a lollipop…
10) 2 Live Crew, “D..k Almighty” (As Nasty As They Wanna Be, 1989)
“It’ll tear the p***y open cause some satisfaction / the b***h won’t leave it’s fatal attraction / d**k’s so powerful she’ll kneel and pray / awaitin’ her time hopin’ soon to slay”
No wonder at one time 2 Live Crew’s As Nasty As They Wanna Be was deemed obscene. The aforementioned lyric says it all; rather, it leaves nothing to the imagination.